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Marriage is not a word...
It's a sentence... (a life sentence!)
Marriage is a 3-ring circus..
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Suffering.
A happy marriage
is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
A woman was telling her friend,
"It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
There was this woman..
who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
Getting married
is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Love is one long sweet dream..
and marriage is the alarm clock.
Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!
One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -
Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
After a lengthy quarrel,
a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime and lots of happy, fat women.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
The man, who says his wife can't take a joke,
forgets that she took him.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.
They say marriages are made in Heaven.
But so is thunder and lightning. The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake
After marriage,
husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
The trouble with some woman
is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married.
And by then it was too late.
.
I require only three things of a man.
He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
By all means marry;
if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
All tragedies are finished by a death,
all comedies by a marriage.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Grooms,
once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear"
Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself?
[Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over again.
I've known many,
Liked not a few,
Loved only one,
I toast to you.
To the Bride and Groom -
live life to the fullest and remember, this is the first day of the rest of your life...
May your joys be as deep as the Ocean,
and your troubles as light as its foam.
It's a sentence... (a life sentence!)
Marriage is a 3-ring circus..
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Suffering.
A happy marriage
is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
A woman was telling her friend,
"It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
There was this woman..
who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
Getting married
is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Love is one long sweet dream..
and marriage is the alarm clock.
Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!
One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -
Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
After a lengthy quarrel,
a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime and lots of happy, fat women.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
The man, who says his wife can't take a joke,
forgets that she took him.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.
They say marriages are made in Heaven.
But so is thunder and lightning. The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake
After marriage,
husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
The trouble with some woman
is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him.
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married.
And by then it was too late.
.
I require only three things of a man.
He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
By all means marry;
if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
All tragedies are finished by a death,
all comedies by a marriage.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Grooms,
once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear"
Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself?
[Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over again.
I've known many,
Liked not a few,
Loved only one,
I toast to you.
To the Bride and Groom -
live life to the fullest and remember, this is the first day of the rest of your life...
May your joys be as deep as the Ocean,
and your troubles as light as its foam.
